{"id":240,"date":"2015-06-12T09:14:00","date_gmt":"2015-06-12T16:14:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.tidbitsandtantrums.com\/?p=240"},"modified":"2015-06-12T09:14:00","modified_gmt":"2015-06-12T16:14:00","slug":"the-pebble-in-my-shoe","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.tidbitsandtantrums.com\/?p=240","title":{"rendered":"The Pebble in My Shoe"},"content":{"rendered":"

Can\u2019t we all just get along<\/em><\/strong>?\u00a0 If you mean \u201ccan\u2019t we all agree\u201d,\u00a0then, the answer is probably no.\u00a0 A change of attitude will rarely occur without heated debate and reasonable clarity based on logical facts, which takes time and the willingness of the majority.\u00a0 That\u2019s where dissonance <\/strong>comes in as a catalyst for real change.<\/p>\n

Have you ever come across music that sounded like \u201cgibberish\u201d when you first heard it? \u00a0Some of the notes were harsh to your ears, odd sounds that shouldn\u2019t fit together in the same tune. \u00a0You scrunched up your face, feeling agitated and thinking how could you call this mess \u201cmusic\u201d?<\/em> \u00a0Perhaps, as the song continued to play it piqued your interest and eventually, became (what you recognized as) \u201cmusic\u201d. \u00a0Finally<\/em> you understood what the musician\u2019s intention was! That phenomenon is called melodic<\/strong> dissonance<\/strong>.\"COGNITIVE<\/a><\/p>\n

Cognitive dissonance<\/strong> (see definition above) is similar.\u00a0 Dissonance is the irritating \u201cpebble in the shoe\u201d, the catalyst behind a debated, scrutinized and ultimately altered once accepted opinion or attitude. Long-held beliefs and practices are continually being challenged and changed as new information and new experiences substantiate new facts<\/strong>. Unless a belief or practice is challenged (dissonance), there is no compelling reason to think otherwise or change the behavior. Life is organic and needs to evolve, will fight<\/em> to evolve just to survive.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em>Technology is advancing much faster than most of us can keep up with.\u00a0 The relative ease and affordability of global communications has become crucial to dispel ignorance and fear about human stereotypes that were once held sacred.\u00a0 Even religious groups are\u00a0rethinking millennium-held doctrines that were considered unbreakable (and to some, will always be unchallengeable). \u00a0Dissonance has gotten\u00a0a bit of press lately in a variety of newsworthy situations.<\/p>\n

For example:<\/p>\n

\u201cTony Campolo Calls for Full Inclusion of gay and lesbian Christians\u201d: June 8, 2015<\/em><\/strong> \u201cAs a young man I surrendered my life to Jesus and trusted in Him for my salvation, and I have been a staunch evangelical ever since. \u00a0I rely on the doctrines of the Apostles Creed. \u00a0I believe the Bible to have been written by men inspired and guided by the Holy Spirit. \u00a0I place my highest priority on the words of Jesus, emphasizing the 25th chapter of Matthew, where Jesus makes clear that on Judgment Day the defining question will be how each of us responded to those he calls \u201cthe least of these\u201d.\u00a0 From this foundation I have done my best to preach the Gospel, care for the poor and oppressed, and earnestly motivate others to do the same. \u00a0Because of my open concern for social justice, in recent years I have been asked the same question over and over again: Are you ready to fully accept into the Church those gay Christian couples who have made a lifetime commitment to one another? \u00a0While I have always tried to communicate grace and understanding to people on both sides of the issue, my answer to that question has always been somewhat ambiguous. \u00a0One reason for that ambiguity was that I felt I could do more good for my gay and lesbian brothers and sisters by serving as a bridge person, encouraging the rest of the Church to reach out in love and truly get to know them. \u00a0The other reason was that, like so many other Christians, I was deeply uncertain about what was right.\u00a0 It has taken countless hours of prayer, study, conversation and emotional turmoil to bring me to the place where I am finally ready to call for the full acceptance of Christian gay couples into the Church\u201d.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Dissonance<\/u>:\u00a0 Tony Campolo, a popular, well-respected ordained Baptist Minister and once spiritual advisor to President Bill Clinton, could easily be considered one of the modern day founding fathers of the \u201cChristian Left\u201d.\u00a0 This announcement sent huge shock waves \u201cacross the spectrum\u201d throughout spiritual communities around the world.\u00a0 I suspect it will be a conversation of debate for months to come.<\/p>\n

Hillary Clinton<\/u><\/strong>:\u00a0 After winning re-election to the Senate in 2004, Clinton entered the 2008 presidential race with her announcement on January 20, 2007. \u00a0At that time, Clinton appeared to be the clear front-runner amid speculation that she had been \u201cgroomed\u201d by the party (even while Bill Clinton was in office) to become the first female president, and that it was her time to break the \u201cglass ceiling\u201d. \u00a0As in any presidential race, Hillary\u2019s background was attacked by potential Republican (and Democratic) candidates, airing a long list of allegations and actual facts to which Hillary gave little defense. \u00a0Still, as the 2008 presidential primaries drew closer, many believed that Clinton’s place at the top of the Democratic ticket was \u201cinevitable<\/em>\u201d. \u00a0As Obama\u2019s poll numbers began to increase (attributed to Oprah Winfrey), it became clear that the party felt that Obama was a much better candidate with an equally compelling legacy to support (first black president).<\/p>\n

Dissonance<\/u>: Hillary Clinton is the \u201cposter child\u201d for dissonance, a polarizing individual from the very beginning of her political career.\u00a0 Those that know her consider her untrustworthy at best, but considering her \u201clikability\u201d deficits and lack of creditable accomplishments (during her overall political career), and amid consistent illegal allegations<\/em>, many wonder why she continues to receive support \u201cas the inevitable candidate\u201d for the 2015 Democratic Presidential nomination?<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/strong>Mental Health May 2015 As First Lady Michelle Obama said recently, now is the time for us to \u201c\u2026flip the script on mental illness. \u00a0Today, adults with mental illnesses and children and adolescents with emotional disturbances have improved access to care. \u00a0With the implementation of the Affordable Care Act, the percentage of Americans who do not have health coverage has dropped sharply over the past 2 years, from 18 percent to under 13 percent, and lower-income individuals and minorities have especially benefitted. \u00a0Further, states are devoting significant resources to support early interventions for people recently diagnosed with serious mental illnesses. \u00a0With access to treatment, people have hope for recovery.\u201d (SAMHSA)<\/p>\n

Dissonance<\/u>:\u00a0 Unfortunately, people with mental health issues or substance use disorders fall into the loophole of Medicaid, leaving approx. 5 million patients in a coverage gap. \u00a0Currently, twenty-three states have opted not<\/em> to voluntarily expand Medicaid.\u00a0 The very people needing the most mental health care (diagnosis and treatment) are even more likely to put off or skip medical care if it is difficult to obtain.<\/em><\/strong> The fight continues to secure competent care for all. <\/em>NOTE: The American Psychological Association considered homosexuality a mental illness up until 1973!<\/em><\/p>\n

Changing a long-standing religious opinion that has suppressed and marginalized a portion of our population for hundreds of years is productive and begins the process of healing. \u00a0Excusing bad behavior or habitually explaining\/excusing narcissistic actions to promote a single person, a political party or secure a legacy is a manipulation of truth for profit.\u00a0 Deceiving the public with false statements to avoid embarrassment for a failed healthcare policy (specifically addressing mental health issues), is in my humble opinion, inexcusable.<\/em><\/p>\n

Full Disclosure<\/u><\/em><\/strong>: This particular blog conversation came about because \u201ca friend\u201d attempted to explain her anger at the well-publicized \u201cpool-party-gone-bad\u201d in Texas this past week.<\/p>\n

\u201cThis is misogynistic and plain, out-right racism<\/em>!\u201d she exclaimed. \u00a0\u201cComing from a viewpoint of white privilege<\/em>, it\u2019s hard for me to understand how a white policeman thinks it is okay to throw a young black girl to the ground unless he feels black lives do not matter. \u00a0<\/em>It all comes from the fact that black women were once used as property. \u00a0We must have<\/em> a radical movement for change <\/em>in this country!\u201d\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n

I couldn\u2019t agree more that the policeman\u2019s action to draw his gun was wrong, even reprehensible and inexcusable, but there was still so much information not released for public consumption about what preceded the policemen\u2019s arrival on the scene to make any rash, overall judgements about the motive behind the altercation. \u00a0I get it that feelings are feelings on face value, but cooler heads must make at least an attempt to prevail over chaos<\/em>.<\/p>\n

My friend is a good person, an educated and very spiritual person. \u00a0I am absolutely certain she was not in any way being purposely incendiary, and I realize her words were out of frustration and anger, but it was her choice of words<\/em> that caused me to pause and think about cognitive dissonance and the role it has played in facilitating any lasting attitude changes in the past.<\/p>\n

Did you catch all the politically correct phrases used to explain her anger over the incident?\u00a0 Her ire was totally legitimate, and her opinion for needed change is appropriate, but I questioned whether or not the historical reference about women being chattel and the call to radicalism was justified<\/em> (without all the facts) or mere parroting<\/em> from past events.\u00a0 There was another news article just a day later that contributed the officer\u2019s actions to an \u201cAmerican tradition\u201d to keep black kids out of a public swimming pool! \u00a0Was this the first thing that popped into their heads after hearing about the situation, and if so, why<\/em><\/strong>?<\/p>\n

Instead of this foolish conjecture, why aren\u2019t the people asking<\/strong> the hard, non-politically correct, common sense questions?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Why did the kids refuse to leave the party when asked by the responsible adults in attendance? \u00a0Are the kids (who were white and of color) being held responsible for their criminal trespassing? \u00a0Why would they disrespect a police order to \u201cdisburse immediately\u201d or \u201csit on the ground\u201d until the chaotic area was safe and under control? \u00a0While the behavior of the kids does not, rpt. does not<\/strong> excuse the reactive behavior of the policeman, this entire situation looks to be staged in order to just get a reaction.\u00a0 The youths obviously felt \u201centitled\u201d to attend a party they were not invited to. \u00a0Because of their misbehavior, they are literally being rewarded (their fifteen minutes of fame) instead of being held accountable.\u00a0 Irresponsible journalists and questionable social activists groups are using this event to promote their own agendas. \u00a0Has the entire world gone insane<\/em>?<\/p>\n

Dissonance without the facts<\/em> (only conjecture) is anarchy.<\/p>\n

Using provocative language, absurd historic parallels and aggressive behavior is a knee-jerk response to an event \u201cgone bad\u201d.\u00a0 This is yet another potential teachable moment missed, and likely to become a contentious battleground in and out of the courtroom. \u00a0If we look at the situation in Baltimore, surely we can see how misguided intentions went terribly wrong.\u00a0 There is always a better way, a more logical, peaceful, common sense way to deal with human injustice if only we choose to look for it.<\/p>\n

Maya Angelou said, “If you don’t like something, change it. \u00a0If you can’t change it, change your attitude<\/em>.” Racism still exists in the world, that\u2019s a fact.<\/strong> Racism is a despicable behavior, an ugly remnant from a culture of intolerance. \u00a0Every \u201cincident\u201d that involves people of color and Caucasians is not<\/u> racism!<\/em> The door swings both ways, in any event. It is much too early to cry racism until all the facts are known.\u00a0 Unfortunately, the media has already jumped the gun to influence public opinion.<\/p>\n

Big changes come from small, persistent actions and open lines of respectful communication.<\/p>\n

I am a big fan of dissonance<\/em>. \u00a0I\u2019m a child of the 70\u2019s, a lobbyist and an outspoken critic of social injustice.\u00a0 There is a time and a place to facilitate radical change (when societal values and individual inclination will support it). \u00a0Dissonance that serves a healthy purpose is a great place to start the conversation. \u00a0Since the conversation has already gotten off to a bad start, let\u2019s try to change gears and change our own attitudes first.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Sounds like common sense, right?<\/p>\n

(NOTE: Since I wrote this blog, we learned that the police officer in question has resigned from his job after apologizing for waving his gun.\u00a0 We also learned that one hour before the pool party the officer attended a bloody suicide and an attempted suicide (he talked a young girl off a ledge). He didn\u2019t want to respond to the call at the pool, but was the closest officer, and that\u2019s what policemen mandated to do. The officer is now jobless and in hiding after receiving multiple death threats.\u00a0 Several of the witnesses in this case(black and white) have received death threats from the group \u201cBlack Lives Matter\u201d. The young black girl involved is suing the officer and the entire police department for \u201cexcessive force\u201d.)<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Can\u2019t we all just get along?\u00a0 If you mean \u201ccan\u2019t we all agree\u201d,\u00a0then, the answer is probably no.\u00a0 A change of attitude will rarely occur without heated debate and reasonable clarity based on logical facts, which takes time and the…
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