{"id":203,"date":"2015-04-26T10:20:06","date_gmt":"2015-04-26T17:20:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.tidbitsandtantrums.com\/?p=203"},"modified":"2015-04-26T10:20:06","modified_gmt":"2015-04-26T17:20:06","slug":"n-i-m-b-y","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.tidbitsandtantrums.com\/?p=203","title":{"rendered":"N.I.M.B.Y."},"content":{"rendered":"

Better late than never, right? I was looking through various files today, and came across an article sent to me weeks ago that somehow<\/em> I missed. \u00a0It doesn\u2019t happen very often, I promise (so please keep them coming!).\u00a0 With a similar admonition not to go grocery shopping on your lunch hour after you missed breakfast, no one should probably write a blog when they are frustrated, and a bit peeved at themselves.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s the thing; sometimes we disregard our own good advice, and go for it<\/em>!\u00a0\"church\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Before I start, I admit that people who write articles and blogs have distinct opinions about whatever they pen.\u00a0 They don\u2019t have to be experts or even possess first-hand knowledge of what they are writing about for it to make print. The First Amendment guarantees <\/em>freedom of speech in any form, after all. \u00a0<\/em>If journalists or bloggers feel strongly enough, or have \u201cplausible\u201d and passionate ideas about the topic, people will read the words and listen to the intent.\u00a0 Opinions can certainly be influenced.<\/p>\n

What a tremendous responsibility it is to write any commentary<\/em>, and what a shame it becomes when people use the medium of print to promote incendiary philosophies or spiteful mandates, all in the name of God<\/em>!<\/p>\n

A few months ago, Miami Archbishop Thomas Wenski sent a memo to all of his church employees reiterating his mandate that \u201cany expression of support for gay marriage<\/em>, even if it is just a tweet or Facebook post<\/em>\u201d, would cost church employees and Eucharistic ministers their jobs and positions in their church. A few news agencies\u00a0in the U.S. picked up the story (I remember now\u2026I was in Europe at the time). A few journalists made provocative comments.\u00a0 The story died quickly.<\/p>\n

\u201cNot my Circus, not my Monkeys, not my Problem!\u201d (<\/em><\/strong>Polish Idiom)<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Not everyone reading this mandate will appreciate the impact these words have on not only the Rev. Wenski\u2019s employees, but all Christians (straight or gay) everywhere. This is not an isolated religious, strictly Christian or contemporary issue. For a brief moment, substitute the words \u201cblack\u201d, \u201cwhite\u201d, \u201cHispanic\u201d, \u201cmentally ill\u201d, \u201cpoor\u201d, \u201cphysically handicapped\u201d etc\u2026 for the word \u201cgay\u201d.\u00a0How does that make you<\/em> feel?<\/p>\n

You might be familiar with the phrase \u201cNot in My Back Yard\u201d (NIMBY), a term referring to the opposition of any kind<\/em>\u2026 to just about anything, particularly that which changes the landscape, culture, serenity or mind-set of an individual or nation. This phrase was first coined in the 1950s to describe the predictable changes that took place in various neighborhoods when America became a true melting pot, “welcoming” people from all countries, races, cultures and religions to find freedom and a better way of life. Established neighborhoods balked at the new immigrants who brought their foreign languages, strange foods, odd cultures and religious practices.\u00a0 The term itself became a recognized stance of obstinacy against those ideas that threatened the status quo.<\/p>\n

Fortunately, today\u2019s trend is toward \u201cmulticulturalism\u201d in our nation, not<\/em> forced assimilation.\u00a0 Once held cultural and religious absolutes<\/em> (women\/black right to vote, interracial\/interfaith marriage, surrogacy, birth control, etc\u2026) have changed or modified because of decades of respectful discussion<\/em>.\u00a0 Homosexual \u201cunions\u201d are not<\/em> a recent thing, or a result of our lack of prayer in our schools, as\u00a0many\u00a0would have you believe. Gays have been around since man (and woman) walked the earth.\u00a0\u00a0Similar to\u00a0many mental health issues that are finally getting the attention they deserve, we just didn\u2019t want to acknowledge or talk about \u201csuch things\u201d until recently.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, I don\u2019t care if those gay people are getting married and adopt all them foreign kids, but I sure don\u2019t want them living in my neighborhood!\u201d(NIMBY). <\/em>Comments like this are just as\u00a0punitive as Rev. Wenski\u2019s words to quash a healthy discussion on homosexuality and gay marriage.<\/p>\n

E. Pluribus Unum, \u201cFrom Many to One\u201d <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

There are over fifty versions of the Bible in English, and hundreds of thousands of biblical scholars from all religions around the world who gleen different interpretations of the same passages! All sin is abhorrent in the eyes of God<\/em>.\u00a0 There are no \u201cmajor or minor\u201d\u00a0sins that serve to cloud our vision of the Almighty\u00a0to fall from Grace, although there is certainly a debate between religious leaders as to how far to push the envelope of \u201ctrue sin\u201d.<\/p>\n

For example, before 1958, the bible passage \u201cBe ye not unevenly yoked\u201d (2 Corinthians 6:14)\u00a0was meant\u00a0to discourage close fellowship among believers and unbelievers, and<\/em> was regularly used to discriminate against interfaith, intercultural and interracial marriage!\u00a0 Pope Francis recently declared that while most homosexuals do not embrace chastity (sex before marriage is a grave sin in most churches), \u201cIf they accept the Lord and have goodwill, who am I to judge?\u00a0 They should not<\/u> be marginalized. Homosexuality is not the problem\u2026they are our brothers\u201d. <\/em><\/p>\n

In fact, Rev. Wenski does not mirror a \u201ccommon policy\u201d amongst all Catholics.\u00a0 In other areas of the world (Germany, for example) Catholic bishops are set to change their employment policies to allow gays and lesbians, as well as divorced and remarried Catholics to return to the church. Bishops in Belgium are doing the same. Many more Protestant churches are following suit.\u00a0 Thirty-six U.S States and eighteen international countries have legalized or recognize marriage equality since 2003.<\/p>\n

Christian conservatives have been among the most ardent opponents<\/em> of gay marriage and rights nationwide. Russell Moore, president of the Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission of the Southern Baptist Convention contends that \u201canyone who supports gay marriage is not an evangelical\u201d. Ryan Anderson, a Catholic and fellow at Heritage Foundation is a powerful voice among young conservatives who predicts that regardless what the 6th<\/sup> Circuit rules in 2015, many evangelicals will remain opposed to gay marriage. This does not uphold the fact that from 2003 to 2013 the support for gay couples among white evangelicals has more than doubled.\u00a0 Support among Catholics also rose by 22% during that time. (Jonathan Merritt www.jonathanmerritt.com<\/a> ,\u201cOn Faith and Culture\u201d)<\/p>\n

Justin Lee, Founder of the Gay Christian Network, was recently interviewed and asked to respond to the comment, \u201cEven in the LGBT community, there are different theological perspectives on whether or not God approves of same-sex relationships\u201d.\u00a0 Justin replied, \u201cOur goal is not<\/u> to change each other\u2019s mind, but to treat one another with Christian love\u201d.<\/em> Although scientific discoveries and current biblical scholars firmly support the side of equality, Justin further adds \u201cLet\u2019s put this debate aside for a moment and get to know one another as human beings, even though we have this massive, massive disagreement<\/em>.\u201d (Melissa Binder, mbinder@oreogonian.com<\/a>, \u201cFaith and Values\u201d, Jan. 02, 2015)<\/p>\n

There are those that would vehemently argue that what takes place in ultra-liberal Europe or outside their own diocese should have no validation as to what happens in the entire USA, as if in reality<\/em> it has any bearing at all!<\/p>\n

My point (in case you are missing it) is this: Even though Wenski\u2019s dictate was directed to his own employees, it has negatively affected the gay marriage debate by encouraging people (particularly Wenski\u2019s employees) not<\/u> to speak out for or against gay marriage in fear of losing their jobs!\u00a0 <\/em>You may not be\u00a0a member of Rev. Wenski\u2019s parish, religious or even gay<\/em>, but the fact of the matter is, the discussion about equal rights and basic, lawful protections does affect you.<\/em><\/strong> It affects every one of us. <\/em>Every opinion matters, even Rev. Wenski\u2019s.\u00a0 Anyone who has access to a platform, who is privileged <\/em>to hold an audience or promote a concept or ideal, has a responsibility to voice their own opinion as long as it is respectful.<\/p>\n

You cannot make someone respect you, validate you, honor your point of view or most troubling of all, love you unless they are open to the possibility and believe in the benefit of offering\u00a0affection and compassion\u00a0to all beings on this earth<\/em>. The good news is that it doesn\u2019t (or shouldn\u2019t) negatively influence the way you<\/em> feel about yourself or others.\u00a0The same applies to personal opinions on homosexuality,\u00a0same sex marriage, religious reconciliation, vanilla ice cream and puppies.\u00a0Your opinion is yours alone to make.\u00a0Sadly, I suspect most of\u00a0Wenski’s employees are volunteers<\/em><\/strong> with little to no say in the matter.<\/p>\n

Approximately ten years ago, the entire Eucharistic Council of my parish was asked by the Bishop at the time to sign a form declaring that (quote) \u201chomosexuality is a abhorrence<\/em>\u201d and \u201cthose that actively indulge in homosexual behavior are an abomination in the eyes of God<\/em>\u201d (unquote).<\/p>\n

As I read my Bishop\u2019s mandate, something in my head and heart snapped!\u00a0 I could never ever sign that paper.<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0I no longer think it necessary that I remain silent, even if no one else agrees with me.\u00a0 I have stopped \u201cpretending\u201d to support certain church fiats that I disagree with, thinking that I wasn\u2019t hurting anybody by not speaking out. \u00a0Every day I regret not speaking up for those who could not speak for themselves<\/em>. It probably wouldn\u2019t have made a difference at the time, but it was the wrong reason not to (respectfully) tell the Bishop how I felt.\u00a0 Mea culpa<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Sadly, I no longer serve in my beloved Church as a minister, but of course, now I am even more convinced that God did not make a mistake with any of His creations. \u00a0Just pick any of my five children\u2014they may not call or visit me as often as I would like (they are also lousy Pinochle players and for some reason dislike marshmallow peeps, can you imagine?<\/em>), but they are never, ever an abomination to me or anyone else, and especially<\/u> not to God<\/em>. Gay or not, I want them to see the Almighty (and the church they choose to worship in) as welcoming and inclusive.<\/p>\n

Strong, personal convictions, one way or another, are to be \u201crespectively considered\u201d even if I don\u2019t agree with how they choose to interpret what I consider the cold, hard facts.<\/strong>\u00a0 The Catholic Church (and many other churches) may never accept homosexuals into full communion during my lifetime, but at the very least, we can respect each other enough to dialogue and \u201cagree to disagree\u201d with open, welcoming arms. Threatening mandates are, in my professional opinion, ineffective in achieving a goal for or against<\/em> any important issue.<\/p>\n

The same goes for political parties and candidates (especially considering the upcoming 2016 elections), gun control, global warming, etc… It is important to talk about\u00a0all the\u00a0issues with facts in hand. That\u2019s just common sense right?<\/p>\n

Some things are too important not<\/u> to have a respectful preference (opinion).\u00a0 Some issues demand that you take a stand by speaking up whenever the opportunity presents itself.\u00a0 <\/em><\/strong>Your opinion does matter! <\/em>Don\u2019t allow anyone, regardless of who they are, to silence your voice.\u00a0 If you are proven wrong, you will learn from your mistakes.<\/p>\n

If you are right, your action could make all the difference in the world to someone.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Better late than never, right? I was looking through various files today, and came across an article sent to me weeks ago that somehow I missed. \u00a0It doesn\u2019t happen very often, I promise (so please keep them coming!).\u00a0 With a…
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