Each day like many of you, I peruse my calendar with great expectations and anticipation. What will the day bring? What will I learn that perhaps I never knew before? As I ponder what might be in the next twenty-four hours, I suddenly remember that Thanksgiving is the next holiday up to bat.
For the record, I “strongly dislike” Thanksgiving as a holiday. There, I said it. Pass it along, please.
My family, friends and co-workers already know this about me. I have disliked Thanksgiving for as long as I can remember and I know for a fact I am not the only person who feels this way. Thanksgiving has always stood between me and Christmas which as any child will tell you, is the most awesome holiday by comparison!
I can’t tell you what I did yesterday but I vividly remember in third grade when we were forced to watch a graphic film on the choosing and slaughtering of gobblers for the holidays. That particular carnage planted the seed in my mind that as a holiday Thanksgiving had a sinister side. When I was older and had a few History classes under my belt, I took umbrage to references that Native Americans were referred to as “friendly savages” — what self-respecting savage saves an entire community from starvation in gratitude for introducing foreign diseases and gobbling up their hunting grounds? I mean the very title “friendly savages” is a contradiction of terms!
Before you start judging me, I’m not sure what the Thanksgiving equivalent of “Scrooge” is but that’s not me either. You’ll never hear a “Bah Humbug” from this mouth!
It has absolutely nothing to do with the scrumptious traditional foods that end up on the table, or the fact that I am a pescetarian. Relax, Pescetarians are not a fringe religious group, but it does mean I eat a vegetarian diet with fish as my protein. With all the hormone-fed animals and GMO foods out there, vegetarians and Pescetarians will one day take over the world, mark my words.
I love mashed potatoes and gravy, cranberry sauce, stuffing, veggies and pumpkin pie. Pumpkin is my middle name and just so you know, the food items I do eat during the holidays are my “twelve months of the year” favorites. God forbid I should miss a meal or go hungry because of a philosophical difference with any holiday! That will never happen, trust me.
It has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that one or two people (historically) work from sun up to sun down in the kitchen for days to prepare a delicious feast with enough food to feed a small nation, which is then consumed in fifteen minutes before everyone runs to the living room to fall asleep in front of the television watching football! I love football (Go Eagles! Go Broncos!), really I do.
If only Thanksgiving was about the yummy food, the Macy’s Day Parade, football and Charlie Brown’s Thanksgiving Special. Have you ever watched a television program about a picture-perfect Thanksgiving where the food on the table looks as awesome as it seems to taste? Do you crave a special occasion when everyone gets along with each other and there is no bickering or disappointments? Do you wonder why your holidays are nothing short of a hot mess?
Of course you do, and don’t we all? Still, I suspect I would find issue with designating a national holiday to evoke expressions of gratitude for the blessings we should be saying say “Thanks!” as a matter of routine and respect.
Just the other day I spoke to a woman that was stressed to the point of a panic attack merely by thinking about the holidays ahead. There was no joy. There were no “warm fuzzies” remembering wonderful Thanksgivings or Christmas’ in her past. Instead, all she could say between sobs is this:
“I try very hard to budget for the holidays, but something always comes up and I fall short. I hate to cook. I hate to grocery shop even more and I am sick and tired of the kids wanting everything they see on TV for Christmas! Every year the commercials start earlier and earlier. Christmas decorations go up in the stores before the last Halloween costume is sold. My husband has to take a “holiday job” in addition to his construction work just to put toys under the tree. We don’t go over-board but just once I’d like to end the holidays without worrying about the bills coming in January. I am so tired all the time from trying to please everyone! New clothes for school holiday programs, pot-luck work parties and Secret Santa gifts—I can’t do it anymore. I don’t want to do it anymore! “
Having my family together around the dinner table is one of my greatest pleasures in life. Cooking for them, fixing their favorites is a source of great satisfaction for me. We live thousands of miles from one another but when we finally have an opportunity to reconnect (whether it be Spring, Summer, Fall or Winter), I am exceedingly thankful!
Come to think of it, there is very little in my life I am not grateful for!
However, life doesn’t evolve in a vacuum. The holidays come despite seasonal illnesses, financial obligations and personal dramas that occur throughout the year. While our holiday “intentions” are good, our distorted interpretation and “expectations” of how a perfect holiday should be encourages us to dig “emotional holes”, requiring additional self-control, energy and monetary resources that are in short supply before, during and (especially) after the holiday has ended!
Most families that I know are hard-working and frugal but are still living from paycheck to paycheck (unlike the television actors in a holiday Hallmark movie). Perhaps some will go beyond their financial means during the holidays with the hope of having a “perfect” occasion, not just for themselves, but for the family or “for the kids”, etc… Add that to an already stressful job or personal relationship, holiday expectations are “the gift that keeps on giving” well into the New Year until the cycle of unrealistic expectations is broken.
I pass no judgement on anyone’s choices or preferences but, I hold no illusion that our family holiday plans will be “perfect”! If something can go wrong this holiday season at our house it will most likely happen in spectacular fashion!
I’ll forget my grocery coupons (again) before I head to the store, paying more, getting less; the kids will argue with their parents and fight amongst themselves. Snarls will be heard, and naps will be missed. The dogs will poop on the living room carpet which I won’t see until we sit down to eat (only because the aroma is competing with the cooked turkey). Just before the meal our guest will announce he no longer eats anything “white” (referring to the shoe-peg corn, bread pudding, dinner rolls, cheese sauce on the veggies, etc…). The kids will giggle and loudly burp during the prayer and I’ll forget the cranberry sauce in the fridge until long after the meal is finished. If the Eagles and Broncos don’t soon get their act together, even my favorite football teams will set me up for disappointment!
“Gratitude comes when you have little, but choose to appreciate what little you have.” I received lots of positive responses when I made that comment in a recent blog— not because I am so clever, but because it is pure and simple common sense.
Hey, here’s an idea! Let’s be bold and declare every day of the year a holiday worthy of on-going gratitude and celebration. Starting today, let’s spread the word that “Holiday 365/24*7” is the only way to go!
I pledge to begin each day with a simple “Prayer of Gratitude”:
“I am thankful for the privilege of waking up to a new day filled with unlimited potential and opportunities. I will model my gratitude to others by finding the positive in every negative I encounter. I will express my appreciation to everyone and everything that directly or indirectly fills this day with unconditional love and support.”
My mantra for the upcoming holidays will be:
“The extra effort (over and above what you would normally do on any given day) that I will need to do those special holiday things I love, will be tied to available time in my schedule and my overall energy level. I will not over-extend myself and bring undue stress upon myself and others with unrealistic expectations. If I need help, I will ask for it. If I cannot do all that I want to do, I will accept my limitations and forgive myself. Regardless of what I do and how well it turns out, I will accept that it is the best I can do and find will satisfaction in my earnest efforts.”
Remember when Elvis sang, “Why can’t Everyday Be like Christmas?”? That’s a very good question. What a wonderful world it would be, don’t you think?
Thanksgiving is an everyday celebration. Giving thanks for all our blessings and the kindness we receive from others should come as easily as breathing. I do not need a date on the calendar to remind me that my blessings overflow, but until “Holiday 365/24*7” catches on with everyone, please accept my sincere and heartfelt Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours! Gobble! Gobble!