Oh, Donald!

TRUMP AND BREASTFEEDINGOh Donald!

“I found myself defending you today to a large group of breastfeeding mothers on Facebook. I couldn’t remain silent, especially when I was asked directly to reply to the recent article about your outburst in the middle of a legal deposition in 2011. You didn’t really have to call that woman “disgusting”, did you?  She was just a lawyer who wanted to take a scheduled “medical” break to breastfeed/pump milk for her baby. No seriously, did you?

Look, I haven’t decided whether I want you to be the next president or not. I like to gather all the facts and then make my choice, and besides, I’m not even Republican. You certainly have skills and documented expertise that would serve our country well, and I suspect you are quite an interesting character behind that “train wreck” of a personally you put on for the public.  You certainly are one to speak his mind without a filter, which I usually admire, but dang, a diplomat you are not!

Just a thought, but considering the job you are applying for, you may want to reconsider how random remarks you make from here on will be interpreted by the media. My unsolicited suggestion for you Mr. Trump is to perhaps “get thee to a therapist” for anger management, or at the very least, say absolutely nothing when upset until you truly calm down like most adult of your age have already learned. Oh, and stop using the word “disgusting”, okay?”

I read the article on Facebook several times before coming to the conclusion that Trump most likely was “set up”. Knowing his intolerance for delay and incompetence, this woman (in my opinion) baited him to respond to her request to take a break and pump her breasts. Donald responded as expected with anger and rude behavior.. For such a controversial fellow, it is no surprise that his “disgusting” comment fell into the hands of the anti-Trump media years later and went viral.

Just last week the national news reveled in Ivana’s claim that he raped her during his marriage thirty years ago. I sense a common thread that is hardly presidential (if true) and at the very least, smarmy fodder for the current news cycle. With all due respect, your personality and lack of humility continue to feed these stories.

Obviously that’s not why I defended him today. Here is a composite of the various responses I responded to from comments on Facebook (please excuse the sentence structure and punctuation):

As a midwife and “once” working, breastfeeding mother…Trump is Trump, a business man. Breastfeeding while working is generally planned on a scheduled break. Asking to be excused during a deposition is rude and inappropriate, and reflects more on the lawyer than Trump. Strong, intelligent women that return to work (while breastfeeding) certainly realize and accept how difficult it can be. It isn’t right, it isn’t fair but a lawyer would understand what is expected or required—to excuse oneself in an “emergency” or for a scheduled medical break to use the restroom does not require an explanation for personal reasons, nor would a man ever think to provide one.”

“The “point” is not what Trump said, —there is NO excuse for Trump’s comment or for his behavior, Naomi, but we (those who have fought to promote childbirth, parenting and breastfeeding rights for decades) have heard far worse. The lawyer in this case embarrassed herself (did NOT prove a point). Again, the lawyer knew exactly what she was doing, and proved it by sharing the ridiculous incident with the press.”

I am truly sorry (person)… that your breastfeeding work experience was difficult at times. I wish I could say the general conditions have changed. Improved perhaps, in some cases, but still difficult for most women. Rather than promote a “politically motivated news cycle”, why not work with your local La Leche League to make sure ALL employers and colleagues are educated about the importance of breastfeeding. Let’s unite all women to promote education rather than dissent amongst ourselves.”

I apologize for listing the responses without the comments that prompted them, but you get the gist of the exchange. As I am writing, I notice that I received over a hundred responses, most of them supporting my position (not that it crucial that they did, but I admit I was surprised). Those responses that aren’t positive are brutal (ouch!), meant to be hurtful rather than constructive. It immediately reminded me of a child responding the only way she can, lashing out with a nonsensical, inappropriate comment…kinda like someone else we know, perhaps? I certainly didn’t respond in kind. I chose not to respond at all, proving that I can be diplomatic when I want to be, yay me!

“In any case, Donald, you certainly are not getting any kudos from the thousands of women that responded to this debacle, nor should you. You brought this upon yourself. The article did what it was intended to do—cast doubt and spew vitriol, targeting women and the most sacred of values, the protection of the mother and child. What were you thinking, man?

Okay, you were likely baited by the lawyer, Mr. Trump, but when provoked you responded by lashing out inappropriately and behaving boorish, as you are sometimes inclined to do. It is clear that most of the readers have assumed you were casting aspersion against breast-feeding mothers in general. Rallies are being planned, political pundits are taking sides, new mother groups in America are spreading the word— you essentially handed yourself up to your critics on a silver platter!”TRUMP

I still stand by my belief that the lawyer, a obviously intelligent women in a very high profile occupation had an agenda in provoking Mr. Trump. I  called out her behavior, which I believe gives the impression that  women returning to work while breast-feeding expect and/or require “special treatment”. Women, particularly nursing mothers, try hard to return to the pre-pregnancy “normalcy” in the office, conscious not to call attention to ourselves in an environment of professionalism. Promotions depend on perception in business almost as much as skill.

If I am wrong (which I frequently am) by interjecting my professional experience with hundreds of nursing mothers over a span of forty years, those that returned to their prior employment status, the common sense question still begs to be asked, “Is Mr. Trump any more culpable for his knee-jerk, inappropriate response than the arrogant lawyer that obviously didn’t get what she felt she was entitled to, and thus responded by pulling out her breast-pump. She eventually alerted the media, thus allowing Trump’s critics to use his outrageous comment (perhaps meant specifically for the lawyer rather than breastfeeding in general?) against him years later.”  The rules of acceptable behavior for the “entitled” in the world do not often apply equally to the to the rest of us. The rich, famous and powerful amongst us get away with “murder”…until it returns to haunt them one day.

This got me thinking about how what we common folk say (and do) that can also follow us throughout our lives. How easy it is to take actions and comments out of context that occurred years ago just to suit the current situation. What has happened in the past appears to be fair game to be misinterpreted for future. Without an objective “ eye or ear” of integrity and character evaluating an article or situation, who do we trust?

I’m not saying that “The Donald” would not make a good president.  I’m just say like many of us, he has a lot of work to do first.

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