This is not a “political” tantrum, although I can see how it could be mistaken as such. This is one woman, one mother, one therapist, one Christian’s point of view, period.
In response to Ben Carson’s recent remarks, “A lot of people who go into prison go into prison straight,” Carson said in an interview with CNN Wednesday. “And when they come out, they’re gay. So, did something happen while they were in there? Ask yourself that question.”
For such an intelligent man (and I have followed his career to attest that he is) that was a very unintelligent statement made in conviction and not fact about homosexuality! Homosexuality is NOT a choice. Abstinence, refraining from sexual actions, is a choice whether you are heterosexual or bi sexual or homosexual. Homosexuals are born, not “made” by decision.
Humans, out of their regular environment, do all sorts of things they would never ordinarily do (“what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas”). We are taught in med school that humans are sexual beings. When deprived of a “biologically compatible” mate for reproduction, men (and women) will use sexual expressions purely “for pleasure”. Assured of the longevity of their incarceration, humans often lose all hope, reason and conviction of choice when they go to prison. There is no plethora of reasonable choices in a segregated, strictly controlled community, but only the need to quickly conform and adapt. Survival in prison means adaptation… or certain extinction.
Latent homosexuality will indeed find an atmosphere to survive and thrive in prison, but most inmates that participate in homosexual activity in prison do so because there is no other choice. Preachers become drug addicts, docile mothers become harsh bullies, and hardened criminals become even deadlier. The microcosm of prison life supports all kinds of aberrant behavior, but homosexuality is certainly not an aberrant behavior. Consensual, mutual masturbation is a choice, homosexuality is not.
Men and women of strong faith always feel they have a choice regardless of circumstances, but rarely do men or women find themselves in prison as a result of good choices! It took me years and intense personal research to come to this logical, scientific and, I believe, spiritual conclusion. Nothing in my current experience has challenged the fact that homosexuality is not an abnormality or defect in the human genome. Homosexuals have always been on the face of the earth. This is not a recent trend in behavior.
Our religions preach that it is, of course, and for that I’ll give Carson the benefit of the doubt of his conviction as a Christian. Religions also teach that our sexuality is solely for reproduction and loving expression between lawfully wedded mates. We know that celibacy before marriage is not a consistent practice, even amongst Christians! I read this morning that a priest told his congregation that practicing yoga is tantamount to embracing evil, and will send participants straight to hell!
I will not knock or malign any religion or diminish Carson’s (or my own) faith and belief in God, but there is a definite disconnect between what is written, what is fact, what is taught, and what we believe in our culture, community and families about homosexuality. There is also a matter of Faith, which is deeply embedded in my soul and colors my personal convictions and opinions. I also understand how most of us “feast at the buffet table of religious mandates” to suit ourselves, satisfy our parents and make excuses for “less-than” perfect lifestyles, but as a presidential candidate, I do not believe Carson’s personal choices made with deference to his own religious beliefs are any more valid than my own.
Carson has publicly said in the past, “It’s a well-established, fundamental pillar of society and no group — be they gays, be they NAMBLA, be they people who believe in bestiality — it doesn’t matter what they are, they don’t get to change the definition [of marriage],” Carson said.”
To equate homosexuality with bestiality weakens Carson’s claim of indifference to homosexual behavior. To soften his words, he says he prefers to focus instead on his opposition to legalize gay marriage. Because of those “types” of ridiculous comments coming at a time when the world is consciously coming together to end bigotry and prejudice of all kinds, I question what Carson would do as President to uphold the established and lawful changes of marriage as an institution under God.
My personal research and conviction to understand homosexuality came long before my children were ever born. I am not gay, but I have two very smart and successful, openly gay children. I mention this because in the spirit of full disclosure, I, too, once held the opinion that a legal marriage could/should be a concession to gays apart from a spiritual marriage. I admit that such long-held beliefs (passed from generation to generation) are often anecdotal and rote, surviving by reflex and not research. In the face of this blatant hypocrisy on my part, I found it difficult to defend why I preferred civil over religious ceremonies for homosexuals. When cornered for a definitive response, I am afraid it made no sense to me whatsoever. Why should homosexuals be penalized for their sexual proclivity, a man for the color of his skin, a woman for the color of her hair, etc… The common sense answer is, they shouldn’t.
I am a converted Catholic, and I love my religion, but several years ago I was “quietly” stripped of my position as a Eucharistic Minister when I refused to “publicly condemn homosexuality as an abomination to God” by mandate of my bishop. I refused to comply, not only because it is my personal belief, but because I was in a teaching position of young, impressionable children who looked to me for religious guidance. How could I tell them that we serve a God of unconditional love and inclusion, when our Church singles out a large part of our society as an abomination? My children have never been an abomination!
Since then I have spoken to many religious leaders around the world and well known biblical theologians. I have not been persuaded to revert to my once-held stance, not for a moment. In fact, I have been lovingly reassured by the openness of these learned people that shared— at the price of being ostracized and condemned by their own religious communities, what they believe with heart-felt conviction is God’s truth. Homosexuality is not a choice.
Thanks to President Obama, the office of the presidency has become an expression of personal convictions and not a reflection or expression of the people. With a “pen and telephone”, presidents can use their power to enact any policy that suits a portion of their constituency rather than the overwhelming wish of the population by democratic vote. I get it that the reverse is also true (the squeaky wheel gets the most notice) as well.
In this instance, however, we are talking about human lives, not just happiness and the ability to love whomever we choose. While it is impossible to quote exact statistics, gay teens are more than five times as likely to commit suicide from bullying and family rejection than those who are attracted to another race, religion or culture in contention with public acceptance. How many individuals have to die before politicians, parents, teachers and society as a whole realize that we are all made equally in the eyes of a benevolent Almighty who does not make mistakes?
When the people of the United States (and the individual states within) desire to make important decisions based on fact and supported by scientific and biblical research, become thwarted or halted in their attempt to reverse laws that guarantee marriage equality, I cannot, in good conscience, remain silent. Seems like good common sense to me.